The Zombiewood Chronicles

This short story is based on a zombie dream I had.

Hey there, my name is Lola Dirkenwood. Have you ever heard of the television show The Walking Dead? Yeah, well, me too. It's a shame I never watched it or any other zombie movies. Personally, I’m heading to the nearest store and grabbing all those damn zombie movies, watching them one after another. Why? Well, had I known I would be stuck in a college filled with zombies, I would have been taking notes on surviving a freakin’ zombie apocalypse!

Let me start from the beginning... I used to go to college at a private school somewhere in Vermont called Crestwood Academy, now renamed Zombiewood. The college was basically for prodigies, or so they claimed. For some crazy reason, my folks and the people running the place thought I was a prodigy because I can play a song without reading sheet music and have even come up with a few classical pieces of my own.

Whatever... anyway, there was one building that was off-limits to students unless you were the mad scientist type, and believe me, we had plenty of those freaks here. One of them even legally changed his name to Dr. Jeckle, and yes, his first name was Dr. Ugh, not too bright. His friend also changed his name to Mr. Hyde, and yeah, his first name was Mr. Go figure. Not the brightest crayons in the box, if you know what I mean.

So, I was minding my own business in the library, checking out the hot new guy in school who was reading books about weapons... he seems especially fond of crossbows, for some reason. Oh well. Go figure, I have a thing for bad boys, and this one looks just like one. His long hair covered most of his face, but whatever, he looked great in jeans and a leather jacket. And those combat boots? Super hot. His name is Darryl... very hot name.

I flirted, but he ignored me and kept reading about crossbows. Since I couldn’t hook him with my utterly adorable cuteness, I did what I needed to do. I called the girls for a meeting in the quiet section of the library. I grabbed my books and walked to the other side. One of the wrestlers tried to grab my attention, so I stopped to chat with him. Mr. Hottie McHotHot never took his eyes off the book.

Unfortunately, this side of the library was right next to the science building, and there were always pretty awful smells coming in through the windows. I sat against the side wall, just in view of him with a bookcase blocking me. I think I saw him look up a few times, but I could be wrong. Though he is sitting at the other end of the table and in plain view of me... hmm, I wonder...

I pulled out my notebook and started doodling when there was an explosion from the science building, followed by a few random screams. One couldn’t tell if they were screams of excitement or fear. You never know with the science geeks...

Out of the blue, Mr. Hottie comes over and asks what I’m doing here. Before I could respond, he walked past me to the wall and moved me along with him. The wall in front of us was dripping with this smelly greenish-blue slime.

Mrs. Dodd, the annoying librarian, walked past us and eyed the wall. She walked over, touched the wall, and wiped the liquid on her skirt. “I’ll get my Clorox wipes, no one touch that!”

“We need to get out of here... now,” Darryl told me. I looked at him and crossed my arms. “Oh, now you decide to talk to me after all the attention I gave you and you...”

Darryl pulled me behind him, grabbed my purse. “We need to go... NOW!” I pointed to the wall. There were bubbles forming under the hideous-looking wallpaper. I stepped back as others stepped forward to look at it curiously.

Mrs. Dodd came and pulled a Clorox wipe out just as the bubbles popped and sprayed those standing at close range with the nasty ooze. I wanted to see what they looked like with the ooze on them, but Darryl pulled me away.

Darryl and I ran toward the door, which was a good thing because that damn ooze turned the observers into flesh-eating zombies. That wrestler I mentioned was coming straight for me, I think, though he did take out a football player on his way, so maybe not.

Just as we reached the door, Mrs. Dodd staggered toward us with her Clorox wipes. One was hanging out of her mouth, and she seemed to be missing an ear... I think she read the autobiography of Vincent Van Gogh one too many times...

Darryl stood in the doorway and yelled at the top of his manly lungs, “Hurry, run! Zombies hate fast food... run!” I raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged. He had a point, I suppose. As the last person ran out the door, he slammed it shut and placed a Webster’s dictionary in the door handles so they couldn’t get out.

Then we ran to our dorm rooms to grab stuff. I decided that I had to change my outfit. A girl can’t run from zombies in heels. Darryl’s room was down the hall from mine. As I changed, I wondered when I would finally see his face and not just hair like Cousin It.

He came in just as I pulled on my jeans and a white tank top with a blue and black flannel shirt. He ran to my closet, pulled out my jacket, and grabbed my hiking boots. I pulled off the white tank and switched it for a black one, then made sure he grabbed my black hiking boots. Hey, if I’m going to be running from zombies, I’m going to look good while doing so!

I was packing extra clothes and makeup into my backpack when Darryl blew the hair out of his face and sighed. “Zombies are coming, let’s go!!”

I looked at him and raised another eyebrow. “Why do you look like Darryl Dixon from the show... and where’d that crossbow come from?”

“Later!” was all he said, and he dragged me out of the closet.

I called my parents and told them about the happenings at school. They already knew, and my brother was on his way to get me. Apparently, the news had already alerted the world about the zombie apocalypse that started at my school... so the next time someone asks me what college I went to, I’m going to say Hogwarts.

Darryl grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door. He stopped as two guys from down the hall ran by in their pajamas. One was dressed as Spiderman and shooting everyone with silly string, while the other was dressed as Batman and just running around trying to kiss the girls. I raised an eyebrow at them, and Darryl shrugged. “I give them an hour or less.”

We got outside to find a crowd of people with cameras and news broadcasters standing there laughing at us. Apparently, we had been “Punked” by the college, or so they say...

My brother drove up in his black Hummer with an automatic machine gun attached to the back. It helps to have parents who are survivalists and a brother who plays black ops and zombie games on his PlayStation... he’s always prepared for a zombie apocalypse.

Darryl and I got into the truck just as zombies flooded out of the front entrances. Spiderman and Batman were the first out the door, both covered in blood. When they came out, they were broadcasted on live television.

Darryl, my family, and I took up residence in the nearest Sam’s Club. There’s enough food there to last a good long while, and another is the club’s main rule: Zombies can’t get in without a membership!