The Power of Loyalty to the Self

In the hauntingly beautiful image above, a fiery phoenix rises against a backdrop of stars and galaxies, standing in stark contrast to a cloaked, faceless figure. The words in the center hold a truth that resonates across time and culture:

“Abandonment ends when loyalty to your Self begins.” – J. Mike Fields

This simple yet profound message cuts to the heart of what it means to heal, transform, and rise from life’s darkest moments. At some point, nearly everyone faces abandonment—whether through relationships, family, friendships, or even abandoning themselves in the pursuit of acceptance. Yet, the journey back from that emptiness isn’t about finding someone else to fill the void. It begins with an inner fire: the decision to be loyal to yourself.

The Symbolism of the Phoenix: Rebirth and Renewal

The phoenix has long been a symbol of resilience and transformation. In mythology, it is a bird that burns to ashes only to rise again, more radiant than before. This cycle mirrors the emotional journey of abandonment. When people are left behind, ignored, or betrayed, it feels like a burning—an unraveling of who they thought they were.

But like the phoenix, those ashes are not the end. They are the foundation for something new, a version of the self that is stronger, wiser, and fiercely loyal to its own truth.

In the artwork, the phoenix soars beside the faceless cloaked figure, which can be seen as a representation of abandonment itself: emptiness, rejection, or the absence of belonging. But the phoenix—loyalty to the Self—outshines it.

Why Abandonment Hurts So Deeply

Abandonment wounds are primal. From the moment humans are born, they depend on connection for survival. When someone important walks away, whether a parent, partner, or friend, the brain perceives it as a threat to survival, triggering deep emotional pain.

What makes abandonment particularly damaging is that it often morphs into self-abandonment. Instead of holding onto their inner worth, many people internalize rejection as proof that they are not enough. They begin silencing their needs, over-giving, or betraying their own desires to avoid losing others again.

This is where the cycle becomes destructive. Abandonment from others may be painful, but abandoning yourself is devastating.

Loyalty to the Self: What It Really Means

Loyalty to the Self is not about selfishness or arrogance. It is about remembering your inherent worth and refusing to abandon your core identity for the sake of others’ approval. It’s about becoming your own anchor, even when the world feels unstable.

Here are some ways to practice loyalty to the Self:

1. Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

Boundaries are an act of self-respect. They are not walls to shut others out but guideposts that protect your well-being. Loyalty to yourself means saying no when something violates your peace.

2. Choosing Authenticity Over Approval

It’s easy to abandon yourself by performing for others—hiding your real feelings, passions, or beliefs to keep relationships intact. But authenticity is freedom. The right people will honor who you truly are.

3. Nurturing Your Inner World

Self-loyalty is not just external; it’s internal. Journaling, meditation, art, or even solitude are ways to nourish the self without external validation. The cloaked figure in the image may symbolize silence and void, but loyalty to the self invites creativity and expression back into the picture.

4. Redefining Abandonment

Instead of viewing abandonment as rejection, see it as redirection. Every time someone leaves, space is created for someone—or something—better aligned with your journey. Like galaxies forming in the cosmos, endings often spark new beginnings.

5. Honoring Your Own Promises

The most profound act of loyalty is keeping promises you make to yourself. Whether it’s pursuing a dream, committing to healing, or simply resting when your body asks you to, these small acts rebuild self-trust.

The Cosmic Backdrop: A Universal Message

The background of the image—galaxies and stars swirling—reminds us that loyalty to the self is not just personal; it’s universal. Just as stars are born, burn, and die in cycles, so too do humans move through cycles of loss and renewal. Abandonment is not the final word. It is part of the human story, but so is rebirth.

The cloaked figure may feel like abandonment itself—mysterious, faceless, consuming. Yet, in the cosmic stage, it is dwarfed by the phoenix, the flame of self-loyalty that refuses to die.

From Survival to Sovereignty

Healing abandonment is not just about surviving. It’s about reclaiming sovereignty over your life. When you are loyal to yourself, you no longer chase people who leave. You no longer betray your needs for scraps of affection. Instead, you stand sovereign, rooted in the unshakable truth that your worth is not dependent on who stays or goes.

This shift is what ends the cycle of abandonment. Not because others will never leave again, but because even if they do, you will not abandon yourself.

A Practical Exercise for Self-Loyalty

If you’re ready to begin your own phoenix-rising journey, try this:

Write down a moment of abandonment that shaped you. Allow yourself to feel the pain without judgment.

List the ways you may have abandoned yourself after that moment. Did you silence your voice? Compromise your values? Seek love in the wrong places?

Now, write a pledge to yourself. A simple statement like: “I will not leave myself again. I will honor my truth, my needs, and my dreams.”

Place this pledge somewhere you’ll see daily. Each time you’re tempted to self-abandon, remind yourself: loyalty to the self comes first.

Final Thoughts

The image of the phoenix beside the cloaked figure offers a timeless truth: abandonment is not the end of the story. It is the fire through which we rise into loyalty with our own soul.

When you choose yourself, you stop bleeding from the wounds of those who walked away. You stop waiting to be chosen, because you’ve already chosen yourself.

And in that moment, abandonment loses its grip.